Ritter's world.

Money Egg

2009-04-19T23:10:00.002-06:00

Joel and Christina invited Briana and I to the Gordon family Easter party. Which included an Adults only Easter egg hunt for a single egg filled with $20.

Yea, I totally found it.

Job Interview

2009-04-16T23:13:00.002-06:00

I guess it never really matters how much I think I know or even how much I really believe in myself, but having to thoroughly convince a potential employer of my abilities still gives me a nervous stomach similar to right before going on stage in front of a few hundred people.

I hope I like them as much as I hope they like me.

Music for the Soul

2008-12-01T16:15:00.002-07:00

My body moves to music.
My soul moves to Radiohead.

Einstein

2008-07-31T20:16:00.003-06:00

I don't know how to come up with the words to describe how I'm going to miss our furry friend. In a blink of an eye this sorrowful evening our cat passed on to kitty heaven.

We might not have always said it, but we loved you Einstein.

Changes were inevitable

2007-11-04T22:48:00.000-07:00

Its an exciting change of events in its own right, but I am sad to see the team of two, who have done so much, being separated. I've teased about moving on to other jobs, but would never follow-through because I loved my role there so much. I was surprised to find that my boss was considering moving on to another role, not at all that he was considering it, but surprised I didn't see it coming. All in all, the future is still bright, and there are still lots of things I can do to make the workplace better than it would be without me. Which happens to be something I'll always consider my boss to have accomplished very well during his years with the paper.

An overdue update

2007-11-04T22:32:00.000-07:00

Don't worry about how long its been since I last posted,.. but for the record I do understand its been a great length of time.

So many things have changed, and its a bit difficult for me to determine where to begin. So, I'm going to try a time-line.

Feb. 2006 - Moved in to my home (with 2 room-mates: Dylan and Derek)
Mar. 2006 - Agree to dinner at Briana's house, first official date. Derek moves out.
Apr. 2006 - Things get serious and Briana and I agree to date exclusively.
May. 2006 - Closed on my mortgage... I officially own a house. I also bought a scooter!
Jun. 30th 2006 - I turned 30,.. great day .. lots of running riding the scooter around with Briana.
Oct. 2006 - We decide and set in motion to get married in two weeks on a UEA weekend.
Friday October 13th 2006 - Briana and I are married. Happiest moment of my life.
Dec. 2006 - Dylan is ask to move out, giving Briana and I the house to ourselves!
Jan. 25th 2007 - Briana turns 18!
Jun. 30th 2007 - I turn 31! Time has really been flying by...
Oct. 13 2007 - Our 1 year wedding anniversary!

I feel better

2005-10-17T00:13:00.000-06:00

Effective Oct. 1st I got a raise, which I have partially seen now since payday this Friday had 40 hours at my original rate and 40 hours at the new rate. It didn't increase my paycheck size quite as much as I was thinking, but I never really worked the math out. I am very happy about my salary now and feel very comfortable with this career. I used to think that this could only be a short term gig until something better opened up, but now I have a new mind set about my employment. I think I am going to be happy here for a few years, I am committed to this career more so than before. I can finally settle down and make the best of things for the long haul.

I am quite possibly looking at buying a house in the next few months and only one thing could please me more (girlfriend), but since I don't have the kind of money to command the attention of the types of girls that date a guy just for his money I get to enjoy what I can afford, a house. If I buy a house, it will be this renovated project my parents have bought and are working on. This presents me a few opportunities primarily, picking colors for new carpets, countertops and such things, and also a chance to get in while things are a mess and do some wiring. As soon as I can I'll be pulling in some CAT5E at the least and hopefully with it some coax for tv/video. Being a technology focused valley I'm sure that when I decide to resell the house that it will help the value, and I love the idea of having internet access throughout the house for my own purposes. Other manual labor I'm sure to be involved in will be replacing baseboards and painting, but tomorrow I have taken some time off to finish the tile in the kitchen to prepare for the new cabinets, so that the countertop folk can get some measurements. I can't wait to see the new kitchen with the countertops in, I'm so excited about it. Oh an the garage, which I think has been settled upon as a doable option. Building out the current carport into a garage is going to be the next exciting thing I hope to see and work on.

Well, I've got about 8 hours now to try and get some sleep before the tile work gets going again and when it's done I had better get into work and try and make up the hours I took off to work on the tile.

Good night.

Hello ..

2005-07-13T00:19:00.000-06:00

I'm not sure why I'm even writing to this thing tonight. No one reads this crap. And if you do .. I certainly didn't notice, heh. Anyway .. not much to say .. feeling a bit strange. It's hard to explain but I think what best sums it up that I feel like I have reached my peak. I have so many more aspirations and goals .. things to learn and accomplish but I just can't seem to manage to keep it all straight in my head anymore. I think I feel my brain actually forgetting things and it's forgetting at a faster rate than I can seem to keep it full of with new info. It's a rather distressing feeling not only because I feel like I'm not making much progress but worse, like I might actually be declining. And thats on the only fronteir that I feel like amounts to any real worth in my life. If I lost my ability to be a tech geek, and still had no social life, and no girlfriend. Wow, thats just not a path to even consider thinking about .. its all bad news.

I am a tool. Just not a very good one.

T minus 2 days and counting...

2005-06-28T23:59:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I turn 29 in two days... it might as well be 40 for the shame I feel for lack of accomplishments I've made. No house, no wife, no kids .. job that pays, but nothing worth bragging about. Working to resolve the house issue though. Drove by a few prospects, yesterday evening.

Well, as I try to cover up the fact that I just want to hide myself away from everyone and everything to spend some quality alone time trying to convince myself that I'm not a complete loss, I think it leaves me in a state of mind that isn't too talkative, which I'm afraid reveals more that I care for it to.

I feel like I've become as technically aware as I am capable and I now spend time trying to shift what I know to better areas of interest knowing that I'm going to forget plenty from other areas as I do it. But its just not possible to know everything I want to know as in-depth as I'd like to. Maybe some day I'll figure out how to work some courses into my schedule and nail down some Cisco certifications and actually have some accreditations to show for myself. But, the question lingers, assuming I did such a thing, would I really feel any better? Can school, job, money, etc make up for the obvious lack of social and significant relationships? I suppose I am wrong for even comparing the sets, but I feel I need to prove I have some value to those around me when I am the last of several children to find a companion in marriage. And why do I have such a hard time with finding someone? That is rhetorical by the way. I feel like I should skip asking girls out on dates (not that I ever do that) and just skip straight to asking them bluntly if they want to marry me. Then if the odds are what others suggest to me they are, eventually one of them should say yes. And that would spare me having to deal with the amounts of rejection I fear. But let me elaborate on that a little in case you didn't follow me. Rejection from asking a girl to marry you, when you don't know her is actually less than that of asking them on a date. Because not wanting to marry you is far more understandable than them not even giving you a chance at all by declining a date. I know it has a darkly sinister touch to it, but at my age you have to for-go some of the traditional formalities.

Meanwhile, oddly enough while out performing service on the Daily Herald kiosk in University Mall, I saw and talked with Amy for a few. I really don't know what it is in particular about her that draws me in so much. Despite my attempts not to, I simply adore her. There is no escape from it. All of her mannerisms, and especially her eyes tell volumes more about her than just listening to her speak, which I also adore about her. I wonder if she thinks she is boring me or that all her conversation is lost on me because of I might appear to have a lack of interest. But really I just don't want to interrupt her and I sort of daze off listening to her, not to the point of not paying attention mind you, just something more like enchanted.

wow .. over 6 months since I last said hi

2005-06-23T02:26:00.000-06:00

ok, so I'm not very good at keeping this thing updated. I am going to try to do better though (yeah, I know I've said that before) as Batman Begins liked to keep saying "blah blah something about falling .. blah blah get back up" .. I suppose I should have paid more attention.

omg hi2u ltns

2005-01-04T09:46:00.001-07:00

hi. how you been? me? oh I'm ok, thanks. Nothing all that new to report, although I suppose I should throw down some notes since it's been a few months.

Christmas:
Was good this year, with the help of my sister Chantel we managed to play Santa's Elves to all my brothers and sisters. I wish I could have done more to show her how much I appreciated her help in the endeavor, but I'll just have to do it little by little throughout the year. I have high hopes for Brad to fall in love with the guitar again and pursue that talent of his. I'm admittedly jealous that he is so creative and capable, artistically, musically and just in general. On an interesting note, three of us managed to exchange each other digital cameras this year. My family went all out and got me the Canon PowerShot S70 I had been drooling over (only openly because I figured they'd never try for something so expensive.) Much love to the family for that one too.

New Year:
Ok, so I could have gone to any number of events and parties or even hang out with the family, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I felt too unstable to concentrate on the thought of a new year being upon us already and what I have to show for it and what I honestly think the new year holds in store. I don't want to think about it. I'll just hide away and let the time pass and pray that sooner than later I figure out how to be happy alone.

Home:
Home is still with my parents, but I'm hoping still to migrate to Dan & Chantel's basement as soon as it gets finished. Which requires it being started. I'm expecting to contribute any way I can to assist getting it done as soon as possible.

Work:
It's great, and my solace. It's where I live and breathe and play. I escape my fears and hold onto some sense of self. I also should be seeing my raise starting this year, which will be a very welcomed addition.

Religion:
Tough subject... I wish I knew. I want to be a better person, which I think involves better a better Christian. I'd like to tackle issue that plague my life and be worthy of things that would make me happier. But nonetheless I am not that strong. And now once again I feel that I need to take a step back and try to solidify where I stand. It's not that I don't believe in the gospel or God. I just don't believe in myself.

it's been a while

2004-09-26T03:44:00.000-06:00

Sorry to take so long to add to my blog. Things are better and worse depending on the topic and I haven't come up with sufficient motivation to explain them.

Work is great, but starting to get hard to stay entertained for more than 8 hours. I have a few different things I can work on, but I find myself getting a little restless towards the end of the day. I need to start getting into work earlier (for my own sake), so that when 6pm rolls around I've actually been there sufficiently to call it a day.

another fun night

2004-09-03T23:59:00.000-06:00

My friend Nichole came down from SLC tonight and we got to hang out for a bit. Was really nice, we went for italian and both ordered alfredo. I can't explain how much I love fettucini alfredo. After that we dropped by my Uncle's go-cart track and raced around. That is always a fun thing to do.

My boss Mark managed to hook me up with 4 tickets to college football tomorrow, which I almost begged for after hearing from Doug that he wanted to get together and talk with Ero and I, and Ero suggested coming over to his place to watch the game. To which I suggested, lets just go to the game. :) I think they are excited, which makes me excited. Having 4 tickets and there only being the 3 of us, I spent the afternoon and early evening trying to get a hold of Amy, whom I had heard would enjoy such an event. She called me back later tonight to ask if I had been trying to call her. It's still not for certain that she can make it, and thats largely understandable due to the short notice. I am hoping she can make it, but if not, I don't think I'm going to be bothered by it at all. I suspect other events or time will make itself available for us to hang out and spend some time together eventually, if she truly is willing and wanting for it to happen.

I played some computer games for a few hours tonight too, which was nice since I've been too busy with work and real life to get much of that in this last week. I'm yawning like crazy which is a good sign, so I think I shall call it a day and conclude this blog. Hope you had a good day too. Yes, you... no one else is reading this right now are they? Heheh... later.

a bit of fun

2004-09-02T23:50:00.000-06:00

One of my friends has recently got laryngitis, which is bad since her work involves her being on the phone 8 hours a day. She's just about completely lost her voice, and took today off. I decided to arrange a gathering and called Josh. I left work straight for SLC, after having made plans to meet Josh and Nichole at Nichole's apt. I drove us upto the UofU campus to a pizza shop called The Pie, simply the best pizza in the state. After that and a little mindless driving we decided to go bowling. We agreed we all suck at it, but it was still fun. Josh kicked our butts of course, dunno why he's so much better at bowling (and he was playing with a broken wrist).

Tomorrow will conclude my first week of work with the Daily Herald, and not that I don't feel like I'm being productive, but I'm still working on the servers getting them ready for deployment. And trying to decide the best deployment method and how to expand the current structure with minimal outages etc, while taking best advantage of the new hardware in a capacity that will get us through the next year. I guess I didn't really figure it would take this long. Hopefully I can make some better progress tomorrow.

Haven't heard from Amy again yet, and being the social retard that I am I realized I haven't asked for her phone number. I know she has called me twice and that I could still have the number on the caller id, but I think I'll wait and ask her for it properly. I'm really hoping she calls again soon. I'm hoping to get to see her and spend a little time getting to know her again.

Great news all around

2004-08-31T23:53:00.000-06:00

The job is going fantastic, I get to spend time doing what I enjoy, coding in PHP and building or playing with linux servers. The 1U servers are coming along great, I replicated the Gentoo install today to 2 of the other boxes after getting the primary completed. Everyone seems excited to have me there and a few people even remember me from having worked there a few years ago. All of which have made some comment about my having had blue hair (years ago). I guess a set a trademark.

Also on a fantasic note, Amy called me on Sunday. Yet again it was so great to hear from her. Still hoping to get together sometime. Strangely I can already tell she has grown up a lot in the time past by. My sister is much the same way ... growing up so fast. Already she's graduated college and about to have her first child. Hm.. she's past me right by even.

Well, I better get some rest .. I'm lucky to have work .. might as well get to it early. I mean like 9am kind of early though ... not sure I could do much earlier.

Woohoo!

2004-08-28T13:20:00.000-06:00

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days, but here is the update. First and foremost, I got a job! (And there was much rejoicing) Yah, so I was meeting with Mark from the Daily Herald about building these 1U servers and he starts asking me if I know anyone who does web work that is looking for a job. I naturally told him I was willing. This comes a surprise to him I'm sure because a little over a year ago they offered me a job (much more money too) and I declined. I was trying to do the freelance consulting thing. Anyway, I start Monday and I can't hardly wait. Woot!

Also, on a bright note. I received word from Amy. It has been about a week now since I had hoped we could get together, but she assured me that things are still a bit crazy and she hadn't forgotten me. *sighs* She is so nice that way, truly considerate. Anyway, I gave her my phone number again, and I'll patiently wait and hope she'll call.

Yay! I'm just so happy about things again .. my general outlook on life REALLY helps when I feel worthwhile to the world. And having a job is a BIG factor to that.

Ok, talk at yah later mates!

Weekend fun

2004-08-22T03:59:00.000-06:00

Ok, I didn't get to go to any Theme parks, or spent time with a significant other or anything like that. But I did get to spend some time with friends. This evening I drove out to Shane's house (windows down, and music up). He made fettucini alfredo and chicken and broccoli and fried shrimp. It was incredibly good. We talked music for a while and I showed him some new CDs and songs I purchased recently. After dinner etc, we threw in the SVCD copy I got for him of "Ju On: The Grudge", this was the Japanese original version that the american "The Grudge" version is being based on (I think). The movie had it good points and bad, all together it was awesome. They really crossed over into some new territory with scary and freaky stuff, but the timeline seemed to keep jumping around and it was really confusing at points as to how it all fit together. But that didn't keep it from being very scary. It was a good thrill.

Well, it's 4am now and I'm not sure how easy its going to be to wake up for church.

the question

2004-08-19T07:02:00.000-06:00

I really can't think of anything that great to report today. Except maybe that the chasis for a 1U server showed up today that I got from an eBay auction. It should prove fun to play with.

I met up with a good friend and we went over my resume a bit, mostly discussing how to custom tailor it specifically to the job I am applying for. So now I need to sit down and spend some time completely rewriting my resume. Not something I'm looking forward to, but must be done anyway. That and laundry. *sighs*

So the question becomes... Was this really worth blogging? hehehe .. I dunno. I apologize if I horribly wasted anyone's time.

It's Thursday now .. and I haven't slept yet. I suppose I should be trying to get into a normal sleep pattern and all. I have hopes that today Amy will be calling and that I'll get to see her.

She called me!

2004-08-17T15:25:00.000-06:00

I'm sure this will continue to reign as the highlight of my week. Amy, the previously mentioned recently returned missionary, apparently called my sister, who is an old friend of hers, to re-acquire my digits. It was very unexpected for me, I was hoping for an email or something and figured I'd have to be the one to get her number and call her. Anyway, we talked for a bit and it was so great to hear from her in person, she is so incredibly funny. We caught up a bit and as things settled down I asked if we could get together 'sometime'. She agreed and we should be able to hook up for a bit later this week.

Things are looking up

2004-08-17T04:28:00.000-06:00

Well, the day went mostly as planned. The only scheduled activity was to work on Casey's (sarcastic) uberfast webserver and get the initial raid0 framework setup and configured. Which I haven't done yet, due to strange errors booting the Gentoo LiveCD, but I'm ready to blame the SCSI cd-rom drive and troubleshoot that. On another computer related note, my primary workstation sits on my desk mostly torn open as I attempt to prepare it to be rebuilt. Need to pull the harddrive out and backup the data to one of my other computers so I can start clean. While I was in there I figured I'd do some dusting and even change how things are organized a bit.

I keep trying to find some motivation. I need to find a job, but more importantly I need to find some way to be happy with what I have rather than so depressed about what I don't have. Life is different for everyone, its time to stop comparing and make good with what I've got.

Mindless rambling?

2004-08-15T23:29:00.000-06:00

I slept in today, missing church .. I could have gotten up, but wasn't feeling all too motivated to do so. By the time I did wake, my older brother was back in town from a vacation of his and the rest of my immediate family were making preparations to 'camp-out' in one of the nearby canyon campgrounds. I hoped to have early Monday plans and declined the campout, but did hang-out with them up the canyon for a few hours. I love the smell of campfire, and the smores even more.

While being around family is nice and all, there was a definite distraction lingering in my mind. The recent return of a girl I dated before she left for 1.5 years ago on an LDS mission. She made it clear before she left that she had nothing more planned, and seemingly desired, for us other than friends (which always leaves the existing friendship in question). However prior to her leaving and for many months after I would have claimed I was in love with her. It's very unsettling to know she is back in town and not know if she would like to see me or if she has any intentions of continuing a friendship. Being a pessimist I suspect that she's hoping that I just leave her alone and let her get on with her life, without me in the picture. But part of me wishes dearly that she'd wrap her arms around me and tell me how she missed me. I have been both anxious and scared of having to face this scenario. Although having 1.5 years to ponder and reach some understanding, I feel completely unprepared. And the emotions I thought I had dealt with now feel like they were just bottled up and are finding their way out. I'm trying not to show how distracted I feel. I've debated contacting her but have yet to do so .. partially in hopes that she'll contact me first. I could do without the awkward discomfort of having to attempt to rebuild and continue a friendship that meant more to me than friendship should, especially if the feelings aren't the same for her.

First post

2004-08-15T02:48:00.000-06:00

ok, never done the whole blogging thing, but we are going to give it a try. I hope you find it amusing or entertaining or something better than a depressive mess.